NASA Episode

By Lawrence on June 17, 2008

NASA - my most personal episode. Well, except for the Country Music disaster … but that's next week. I proved Space travel occurs, and is very scary. Being out at that launch pad convinced me. Those rockets are real, and quite powerful. Can you imagine having a car that could go from zero to seventeen thousand miles an hour in eight minutes? Why can't they strap a couple of those things to commercial jets? I could commute from London, pop home for lunch and help Mother with her evening ingrown hair inspection. It would be very handy. But alas NASA only keeps them for space travel … for now. I enjoyed NASA very much - and the government workers could not have been more accommodating. I did not feel for one second they were hiding any giant, alien-filled conspiracy. Which was a relief really.

Imagine if our gracious host had accidentally driven us into the wrong hangar, and there was a giant film set looking like the moon, or a family of creatures preserved in green goo. Awkward moment I'd say. The weekend rocket enthusiasts were also a delight. Can't say the same for the location. Where all the tents were gathered was fine - but when we ventured off to collect our friend's rocket after it's successful flight into … a few thousand feet of air … we ended up in a swamp-like setting. Now the humidity, the boiling sun, and the soft, mushy ground underfoot were all fine. I'm not only a seasoned reporter, but also an Englishman. Mushy is my middle name. But the mosquitoes were unbearable. These weren't your average little annoyances … oh no - they were about the size of your head, and ravenous. They blocked out the sun, such was their number - swooping down and attaching themselves to major arteries before moving on to the next victim. We couldn't show much of that footage - because no one could stay still for more than a second before violently swatting one of the three million hungry airborne monsters. I would like to say we came prepared. And in fact we had bought bucketfuls of repellant - which was waiting for us when we returned to our motel by the freeway. I did manage to capture one of the beasts. It's now in my house, stuffed and mounted above my fireplace. Well it will be … as soon as I have a fireplace. Or a house. Thanks to all for their generous assistance. I may have failed to become an astronaut - it's actually quite hard - but I succeeded in becoming a fan of the whole space thing. I have to say standing underneath a vehicle that has orbited the Earth is one of my personal highlights. That and not vomiting on camera in that awful spinning horror machine. Until next time.

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