From one heart stopping moment to another - while the cars at NASCAR were scary - the dizzying array of fried food on sticks in Oklahoma City possessed their own version of blind, artery clogging terror.

Never in my world traveling, glamorous, truth filled career, have I seen so many items impaled on wood and voluntarily consumed by right thinking people; truly an amazing sight. These state fairs are remarkable examples of American culture … I urge any non-American reading this to make sure you visit one at some point. Nothing says America like the food, the heat, the sweat, the dust, the animals, the crowd, and the mind numbing sounds of chomping, screaming and mooing. And that was just from my crew! I felt drenched in Americanness. And I tried my best to let it soak in.
The pie judging was fun. Sitting down to 16 pies, and being told I'd feel sick later provided this truthologist with a challenge. And I'll always take on a challenge - especially if it involves cake or cake like items…in this case, a very diverse collection of pies. Make no mistake - these piefolk take their craft very seriously - so I felt compelled to give them my best effort. I think the best pie won.

Here's a small secret - during the pie scene, you catch a glimpse of my cameraman. I won't tell you which one he is - but here's a tip - he's male.

Apart from oozing Americana and competitive juices, the Oklahoma State Fair also offered me a wide variety of ways to die. There were the heart attacks I ducked with the food. Then, the chainsaws and mystery water I fell into trying to walk on a spinning log. Then, there was the Monster Truck Ride. I dare any other global correspondent to wedge themselves into that cabin of rubber mounted death.



But all of these potential tragedies paled when compared to the amusement rides. As this episode reveals - Lawrence Beldon-Smythe is not perfect. I have a flaw…something I'm not proud of - but if I'm going to be a sincere truth revealer, then I shouldn't hide my own failing. I am not comfortable with heights. So the ordeal with the Ferris Wheel - was without doubt the most terrifying and dangerous thing I have ever done.

It all began when I was a child. It's a long, painful story, but let's just say, it involved our chimney, parental enthusiasm, a sudden breeze, and antlers. It was also the day I discovered Santa Claus doesn't exist. Worst 15th birthday anyone could have.

Anyway - as I'm supposed to be revealing behind-the-scenes secrets here - then I will admit the fear displayed in this episode was very real. I hope you don't think less of me because I've revealed this most private and intimate chink in this reporter's armor. You know you can always tell me your innermost secrets. Go on - post a comment here and tell me something about you I don't already know.

Otherwise - no real secrets from Oklahoma. Our hotel had a nice pool. It was very hot. We drove around the fair on a very slow golf cart - we were often passed by new mothers and their strollers. The crew enjoyed the funnel cakes. We were very grateful to all the fair folks - again, nothing was too much trouble.

Since that time, I have begun my own, top secret investigation into other items that can be deep fried and mounted on sticks. I hope to reveal my findings soon - but I can tell you now - kippers work well, steak and kidney pies do not. Blancmange is a total disaster.

Anyway - watch the show at 11 p.m. and 11:30 p.m. Tuesdays - and see for yourself what real reporting looks like. Be prepared to do something for the good of the truth, even if it's personally terrifying. I laugh in the face of my fears - or at least cry at their feet.

Cheerio. Not the cereal - it's an English expression for goodbye. Seriously.