Lawrence of America Blog Tag Feed for 'travel'

Country Music Episode

Lawrence — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 14:49:09 -0500

So, this is the blog I've been dreading to write because this episode, filmed in Nashville, Tennessee, shows me at my most vulnerable, and possibly unprofessional. The global correspondents code of ethics makes it quite clear a reporter of my stature should never get romantically involved with a subject being investigated. No, I'm sorry, I just re-read the sacred cocktail napkin, and it says one should never let the audience know you're romantically involved with a subject. Even though Rebecca Lynn Howard and I were never actually romantically involved, I still feel I let my truth guard down. I'll admit, I was caught under her spell of loveliness. Her beautiful hair, her adorably southern accent, her tempting bosum all distracted me. Mostly the tempting bosum … but her hair was nice.

And then when she rejected my advances, I took it far too personally, and let it affect the rest of the episode. In hindsight, she did me a favor by ripping my heart from it's chest cavity then running it over in her car, scooping the flattened remains into a blender and pouring the bloody goo into the sewer. I mean, imagine if we'd become romantically attached? She's a singer in Tennessee, I'm a man of the world. All we could've hoped to look forward to were a series of torrid, passionate hotel room encounters in various exotic cities. I'm going to change the subject now - the tears are making it hard to type.

Crystal Gayle was amazing. She's a petite, warm, friendly woman with a great deal of hair. When one is with her, you can feel the charm, charisma and success glowing from her. The two of us together was like a charisma sun and with all that reflective crystal around - it made it tough for the crew. By the way, they didn't close the shop while we filmed, and we were right inside the door. So a couple of times we had to stop for bewildered customers.

The Grand Ole Opry was another interesting experience. Hanging around backstage was special - surrounded by the memories, and the ghosts of classic country singers I'd never heard of. But it's a sacred place and I was honored to be there.

I want to say a big thank you to all in Nashville, especially Aaron Tippen, who's segment did not make the final TV show, but is here on this website. We were very grateful for the time he gave us and his wonderful honesty. But I can't end without a final comment about Ms. Lynn Howard. Rebecca, thank you for casting me aside like yesterday's used kitty litter. Whilst I may not have realized it at the time, I now know you did it to protect yourself. You knew I was a man already romantically involved … with the truth. And whilst she doesn't have your bosoms … or nice hair … I am her faithful and committed partner, and to try and get in between us would only bring heartache, pain, and misery. But if you change your mind … give me a call. Please. And if you're reading this and not named Rebecca Lynn Howard - then leave me a comment - I dare you.

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Utah Winter Athletes Episode

Lawrence — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 14:41:05 -0500

Hello all. Intrepid Englishman here with more tales from behind-the-scenes of my show … which by the way is now eligible for any awards you may want to bestow. So, Utah Winter Athletes. Well, as you'll see in the show, I went to the high altitude expecting snow. Alas, I was disappointed. My dreams of tapping into American spirituality, by uncovering the truth about something called "snow angels" was dashed. Now, I may never know if they're similar to the real angels that float above my bed as I sleep … or more like Hell's Angels. Anyway, despite my crushing sorrow, I managed to pull myself together and find some pretty interesting folk to chat with.
Shannon Bahrke was probably my favorite. No disrespect to Derek Parra, and the delightful yet completely insane Lugers, or the Curlers, but Shannon let me hold her Olympic silver medal. I have to go with people who let me fondle their silverware - it's an English tradition.
But I will say Shannon worked me hard. As you may know, my one weakness is a small, paralyzing fear of heights. So standing at the top of that dirt hill near her home, and watching her jump down it with a total lack of regard for her personal safety was … well … scary. The other bits - the running and jumping, and the trampolining were more fun - if very tiring. High altitude didn't agree with me … or some of the crew. My producer in particular complained constantly about being dizzy, or dehydrated, or tired, etc, etc. I still don't really know what these people do to earn their living - but all global correspondents have them, so I do too. He did fetch water, and deal with the fans, so I suppose it was worthwhile.

Here's a secret - after we finished with the trampolines, we went back the next day for "more shots". Yes, we needed it - I think. But it was really an excuse for some additional foam pit time. Jumping into that giant pit of foam was extremely fun. Getting out was almost impossible. It's like a foamy quicksand. The more you kick and fight, the deeper you sink. Only our sound man with the frame of a calcium deficient sparrow was able to float above it and haul himself out.

Thanks must go to everyone in the Park City area. The folks at the Olympic Park were delightful, as were the mad Lugers. Watching human beings whiz past on an ice wall at top speed is a lasting memory. Unbelievably dangerous sport … and my brief taste is all I will ever need, thank you very much.

Thanks also to Gold medalist Derek Parra. For someone who has achieved so much, he was remarkably nice, friendly and helpful. Although, I fear I will never be an Olympic speedskater. It was far, far, far too painful on my legs. Which is a shame, because I really look good in that gold body suit. Don't worry though, I still have it and wear it out to dinner, to the movies, and doing household chores. Actually, I don't do household chores anymore … I have a producer for that.

To see me in my Gold skin tight beauty - watch the show - and feel free to tell me how good I look by leaving a comment.

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Fashion Episode

Lawrence — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 07:39:39 -0500

Hello again. Thanks for reading. I mean this blog, not the fact you know how to read -although if you didn't know, you wouldn't be able to read this so I guess it applies.

Fashion in New York City was one of the most difficult shoots in the entire series. Something happened here that didn't happen for the rest of the entire series. No. The cameraman got drunk every night. No, the producer did too. No, the soundman was arrested in several other cities as well. In New York City … it rained. Now usually, rain isn't a problem. Certainly not for me. I'm English. It rains every single day in Britain, everywhere. That's why the Wimbledon Tennis Tournament takes three months.

But for us in New York, the rain, which came in the form of some type of deluge, drowned out the fashion show we were scheduled to film. There I was, about two hours away from arriving , putting on my makeup and strapping up my reporterly credentials when we got the call. The whole evening's festivities had been called off.

The show was planned to take place in an old factory by the river and apparently water flooded the place. Models as you know have a tough time walking in a straight line with their hips jutting out as they do when it's dry, so doing it on a wet runway seemed like certain disaster. Well that's what they told me when I suggested they suck it up because I was coming.

So we had to wait 24 hours for the second night, which had less designers, less models, and a smaller crowd. As you can see in the show, I think I made the best of it but it was really the only scheduled event that fell through during my entire cross country journey.

The bad weather also affected my "photo shoot." The industrial wasteland chosen was not my first choice but it was the only place that was undercover. The designers didn't want their creations soaked while being worn by me. Nor did they let me take them home. Unless I paid for them. Clearly someone hasn't told them about the modern journalism code of ethics.

Thanks to everyone at "Love Brigade." I really hope your label becomes gigantic. In popularity, I don't mean I hope you only make clothes for the obese. Unless you decide to price your clothes by the yard … in which case good luck.

Thanks also to our lovely model friend who let me into her home. In case you're wondering that was indeed her actual apartment. I hope the camera shows just how tiny it was. When I say tiny, I mean really, really small. Smaller than the basement of mother's boyfriends who used to lock me in when he wanted to take her to Spain for the week. Don't worry … he left me food and water all within reach of my leash.

New York is a wonderful City - apart from the rain. And the people were by far the easiest to talk to on the street. I had no idea such a small patch of land could sustain so many human beings, so many hot dog stands, and so many differing views of the world and sport, politics, or whether the sky is blue … truly remarkable.

Anyway - don't forget to watch this and all other episodes of "Lawrence of America" and if you're still reading this could you do me a favor and leave a comment? Journalists of my caliber need feedback - it's like an addiction. Don't worry, I read everything personally - no minion to spell out the big words for me. Not anymore.

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Hollywood Episode

Lawrence — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 07:31:51 -0500

Greetings loyal viewer and/or reader - LBS here with another peak under the skirt of my series.

This week sees me venture into the heart of Hollywood. It was an interesting place - actually "Hollywood" the location is quite grimy, and almost completely devoid of anything related to the movie business. But there are quite a few tourists, homeless people, and men dressed in tiny skirts, big wigs and high heels acting as cultural ambassadors to tourists driving past in their cars -usually at night. I thought that was very friendly of them. Not sure why they needed to dress like women though. Must be a Californian thing.

Anyway - plunging into the heart of a primetime drama series - "Numb3ers" was fascinating. I never knew walking could be so complex. All I had to do was stride past the main characters who were busy saying their lines - and look FBI-ey. Sounds easy - I mean I've been walking for years. But I felt strangely self-conscious. But I think the final cut shows I did a pretty fine job. I believe I'm on screen for a combined total of 1.5 seconds. And to think my boarding school drama teacher's final report used the words "completely useless" when describing my acting talent. Who's laughing now Mister Steinlich? Not you - hopefully.
The other thing I noticed about the big TV location was the sheer volume of humanity. There were literally hundreds of people milling about. All to produce one hour of television. Just so you know - we produce half an hour of high quality programming for the very nice and extremely handsome folks at the Travel Channel - with a field crew of five. Yes, five. It shows what can be done when you use talented professionals and when you lack decent representation in contract negotiations.

I would like to send a hearty thanks to all the many people on that television program for their openness and kindness. Especially that actor chap David Krumholz. There aren't many stars who'll let me smell their hair. Believe me - I know.

Thanks also to the very kind stunt woman Kathy Jarvis for allowing me to hit her with a chair, and push her down a flight of stairs. May I also declare with all due respect you have a job I don't want. All the pain, and little of the credit - not something I'm bred for really. In television journalism hey call that person a "producer;" have to be stark raving mad to want that job. No - it's the globe trotting celebrity journalist life for me. Some lights can't be hidden under a bushel and mine is one of them.

Remember, you can watch my shining light, and the rest of me on my TV show. So keep watching. And feel free to leave your opinions here after reading. I like reading what you have to say. Really I do. So does Mother - who still isn't convinced this program actually exists.

Cheerio.

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Oklahoma State Fair Epsode

Lawrence — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 07:30:00 -0500

"Oklahoma" Premieres Tuesday, June 10, at 11:30 p.m. ET

From one heart stopping moment to another - while the cars at NASCAR were scary - the dizzying array of fried food on sticks in Oklahoma City possessed their own version of blind, artery clogging terror.

Never in my world traveling, glamorous, truth filled career, have I seen so many items impaled on wood and voluntarily consumed by right thinking people; truly an amazing sight. These state fairs are remarkable examples of American culture … I urge any non-American reading this to make sure you visit one at some point. Nothing says America like the food, the heat, the sweat, the dust, the animals, the crowd, and the mind numbing sounds of chomping, screaming and mooing. And that was just from my crew! I felt drenched in Americanness. And I tried my best to let it soak in.
The pie judging was fun. Sitting down to 16 pies, and being told I'd feel sick later provided this truthologist with a challenge. And I'll always take on a challenge - especially if it involves cake or cake like items…in this case, a very diverse collection of pies. Make no mistake - these piefolk take their craft very seriously - so I felt compelled to give them my best effort. I think the best pie won.

Here's a small secret - during the pie scene, you catch a glimpse of my cameraman. I won't tell you which one he is - but here's a tip - he's male.

Apart from oozing Americana and competitive juices, the Oklahoma State Fair also offered me a wide variety of ways to die. There were the heart attacks I ducked with the food. Then, the chainsaws and mystery water I fell into trying to walk on a spinning log. Then, there was the Monster Truck Ride. I dare any other global correspondent to wedge themselves into that cabin of rubber mounted death.

But all of these potential tragedies paled when compared to the amusement rides. As this episode reveals - Lawrence Beldon-Smythe is not perfect. I have a flaw…something I'm not proud of - but if I'm going to be a sincere truth revealer, then I shouldn't hide my own failing. I am not comfortable with heights. So the ordeal with the Ferris Wheel - was without doubt the most terrifying and dangerous thing I have ever done.

It all began when I was a child. It's a long, painful story, but let's just say, it involved our chimney, parental enthusiasm, a sudden breeze, and antlers. It was also the day I discovered Santa Claus doesn't exist. Worst 15th birthday anyone could have.

Anyway - as I'm supposed to be revealing behind-the-scenes secrets here - then I will admit the fear displayed in this episode was very real. I hope you don't think less of me because I've revealed this most private and intimate chink in this reporter's armor. You know you can always tell me your innermost secrets. Go on - post a comment here and tell me something about you I don't already know.

Otherwise - no real secrets from Oklahoma. Our hotel had a nice pool. It was very hot. We drove around the fair on a very slow golf cart - we were often passed by new mothers and their strollers. The crew enjoyed the funnel cakes. We were very grateful to all the fair folks - again, nothing was too much trouble.

Since that time, I have begun my own, top secret investigation into other items that can be deep fried and mounted on sticks. I hope to reveal my findings soon - but I can tell you now - kippers work well, steak and kidney pies do not. Blancmange is a total disaster.

Anyway - watch the show at 11 p.m. and 11:30 p.m. Tuesdays - and see for yourself what real reporting looks like. Be prepared to do something for the good of the truth, even if it's personally terrifying. I laugh in the face of my fears - or at least cry at their feet.

Cheerio. Not the cereal - it's an English expression for goodbye. Seriously.

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