Anyway - don't forget to watch this and all other episodes of "Lawrence of America" and if you're still reading this could you do me a favor and leave a comment? Journalists of my caliber need feedback - it's like an addiction. Don't worry, I read everything personally - no minion to spell out the big words for me. Not anymore.

This week sees me venture into the heart of Hollywood. It was an interesting place - actually "Hollywood" the location is quite grimy, and almost completely devoid of anything related to the movie business. But there are quite a few tourists, homeless people, and men dressed in tiny skirts, big wigs and high heels acting as cultural ambassadors to tourists driving past in their cars -usually at night. I thought that was very friendly of them. Not sure why they needed to dress like women though. Must be a Californian thing.

Anyway - plunging into the heart of a primetime drama series - "Numb3ers" was fascinating. I never knew walking could be so complex. All I had to do was stride past the main characters who were busy saying their lines - and look FBI-ey. Sounds easy - I mean I've been walking for years. But I felt strangely self-conscious. But I think the final cut shows I did a pretty fine job. I believe I'm on screen for a combined total of 1.5 seconds. And to think my boarding school drama teacher's final report used the words "completely useless" when describing my acting talent. Who's laughing now Mister Steinlich? Not you - hopefully.
The other thing I noticed about the big TV location was the sheer volume of humanity. There were literally hundreds of people milling about. All to produce one hour of television. Just so you know - we produce half an hour of high quality programming for the very nice and extremely handsome folks at the Travel Channel - with a field crew of five. Yes, five. It shows what can be done when you use talented professionals and when you lack decent representation in contract negotiations.

I would like to send a hearty thanks to all the many people on that television program for their openness and kindness. Especially that actor chap David Krumholz. There aren't many stars who'll let me smell their hair. Believe me - I know.


Thanks also to the very kind stunt woman Kathy Jarvis for allowing me to hit her with a chair, and push her down a flight of stairs. May I also declare with all due respect you have a job I don't want. All the pain, and little of the credit - not something I'm bred for really. In television journalism hey call that person a "producer;" have to be stark raving mad to want that job. No - it's the globe trotting celebrity journalist life for me. Some lights can't be hidden under a bushel and mine is one of them.

Remember, you can watch my shining light, and the rest of me on my TV show. So keep watching. And feel free to leave your opinions here after reading. I like reading what you have to say. Really I do. So does Mother - who still isn't convinced this program actually exists.

Cheerio.

Imagine if our gracious host had accidentally driven us into the wrong hangar, and there was a giant film set looking like the moon, or a family of creatures preserved in green goo. Awkward moment I'd say. The weekend rocket enthusiasts were also a delight. Can't say the same for the location. Where all the tents were gathered was fine - but when we ventured off to collect our friend's rocket after it's successful flight into … a few thousand feet of air … we ended up in a swamp-like setting. Now the humidity, the boiling sun, and the soft, mushy ground underfoot were all fine. I'm not only a seasoned reporter, but also an Englishman. Mushy is my middle name. But the mosquitoes were unbearable. These weren't your average little annoyances … oh no - they were about the size of your head, and ravenous. They blocked out the sun, such was their number - swooping down and attaching themselves to major arteries before moving on to the next victim. We couldn't show much of that footage - because no one could stay still for more than a second before violently swatting one of the three million hungry airborne monsters. I would like to say we came prepared. And in fact we had bought bucketfuls of repellant - which was waiting for us when we returned to our motel by the freeway. I did manage to capture one of the beasts. It's now in my house, stuffed and mounted above my fireplace. Well it will be … as soon as I have a fireplace. Or a house. Thanks to all for their generous assistance. I may have failed to become an astronaut - it's actually quite hard - but I succeeded in becoming a fan of the whole space thing. I have to say standing underneath a vehicle that has orbited the Earth is one of my personal highlights. That and not vomiting on camera in that awful spinning horror machine. Until next time.